Wow, sorry its been like 3 months since my last post, we have had a super long summer.

We started it off by spending a week in NC visiting Travis' uncles. Then a week in KY for T's job. Then I spent a week in Tulsa visiting family. July we spent a week in Milwaukee looking for a new house. Oh yeah, we are moving to Milwaukee. Oh boy, super busy summer. Good news, we found a house, just waiting for the appraisal to be done before closing at the end of September. August I went to Nebraska for a 3 day trip and family reunion and then spent a week in Tulsa for my friend Sarah's wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and she made a drop dead gorgeous bride! MidAugust, T and I celebrated 3 wonderful years of marriage while up in Milwaukee again to find the house and put an offer in on it.

So that was our summer. We close on our house on Tuesday. It is going to be bittersweet. I will be glad we are moving on, but I am going to be super sad that we will have only lived in our first home less than a year. Then we are going to spend a day with my grandparents, a day with T's parents, then head north. We plan on stopping either in St. Louis or Springfield. Then by Sept 4 we will be in our new for for the following 3 weeks. A hotel with a kitchenette. That is going to be super duper fun! T, me, Wy, and our 90 lb puppy dog.

And in thyroid news, I have been on Methimazole for like 5 weeks now. My TSH is up to .54 now, major increase from where it was. However, I don't feel any better, if anything I feel worse! I have been having heart palpitations and have been much more moody. (Read pissy!) And my right thyroid area has been swelling on and off.

I have an appt with a new DR up north the week we get up there. Hopefully he can help figure what is going on with me!

So earlier this week I went in for an ultrasound on my thyroid Tuesday. That evening the the nurse practioner called and told me that the "nodule" on my thyroid was both solid and cystic. Which means I now have to go in next Monday & Tuesday for a RadioActive Iodine Uptake and Scan. Which means I have to go take a RADIOACTIVE pill Monday morning. Then Tuesday I have to go in and they will do a scan and see how the iodine and radiation are reacting in the nodule.

There are two different reactions. It will either be hot or cold. If its hot the NP said depending on my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) they will probably just monitor the nodule and my TSH. If its cold, they have to biopsy it and see if it is cancer. Yeah, thats right Cancer. UGH!

I don't want to wait and see if it is hot. I am losing hair drastically. I used to be able to put my hair into a hair tie 2 times and it was tight. Now its 3 bordering on 4 times. The NP said oh well, thats probably not related to your thyroid, its probably due to vitamin deficiancy. Well, i am taking 2000iu of Vitamin D/day and I am still losing lots of hair. Depending on the results of the RAIUS I plan on going to a new doctor for a second opinion. Online there are sites that talk of DRs who treat the SYMPTOMS not the blood test. I just want to get better. I want to stop losing hair and having super dry skin and being tired all.the.time, and gaining weight/not being able to lose weight. I have all these symptoms that scream HYPOthyroid but this office is saying HYPERthyroid because of my TSH levels. I hate this. (Elle if your reading this tell your husband to listen to his patients when they are having issues not just order blood tests and ignore the symptoms the patient is having.)

Now onto the other part of my oh so crappy week. I have fire ants in the house. But these were just itty bitty tiny guys. So Monday I called our bug guys and they came out and put out bait. It is getting close to the 30 day re-spray. Well, while they were putting bait out they checked out where I said the ants may be coming from. What did they find? Ants yes. Oh but also TERMITES. MOTHER F#%&##. It just gets worse and worse. So today the Terminex guys come (they are contracted through our home warranty, so instead of 1k, it only cost us $200). At least that was one up for this week. However the guy called this morning at 8:30 to tell me they'd be here this afternoon. About 30 minutes later, while making breakfast for Wy, and me in my pajamas still (read shorts and tshirt only), the doorbell rings. Yup its the exterminator. So I have to go get the dog in lock him in the kitchen with baby gates, and then try to go upstairs and get dressed. However while getting dressed I look out the window and the dude is waiting outside the front door. So now I have to run back downstairs and see what he wants. I need to move the fence from our garden so he can treat there. So I again go to get dressed, succeed, but then have to leave the kid in the kitchen with the dog to move the fence. It just went on and on.

Thank goodness T comes home Saturday night. But then my Grandma is flying in Sunday afternoon so that she can watch Wyatt during my Dr appts as well as the following three days because I can't hold Wyatt too close because well, I will be radioflippinactive. I have to sleep in a separate bed, flush the toilet two-three times after using it and wash my hands extremely througholy.

So Wyatt is in need of some new shoes. He is in a size 7 or 7 1/2 depending on the shoe. Sadly, he is about to outgrow his current pair of Robeez. I love these shoes. They are sooo comfy because they don't have hard soles. They are easy for him to run in and go anywhere. Also sadly, he wore them to his grandparents house, so the bottoms are covered in dog pee because apparently they think its ok not to clean up after their overgrown rats. So they aren't allowed to be worn inside anymore.

Well, there is a this wonderful lady who is a mother of twins that is giving away a pair of Robeez. So I am really hoping I win! She gives you like 7 ways to enter. I am doing all but the twitter one since I don't have a twitter account. Here is hoping I win!!

So on Kelly's Korner Blog every week she does a Show Us Your Life McLinky party. This week she is doing baby names. Baby names are something everyone thinks of eventually. Whether you are trying for a baby now or in the future. you may hear a name and think oh my, they named their child Cadillac? I would never name my child after a car! For me, I love baby names. When we were choosing names for Wyatt, we had such a list going. Granted, most of the names on that list were girl names. For boys we had 2 names. Connor and Wyatt.

T LOVED the name Connor. But I just couldn't get the image of Lacy Peterson and that sad little empty bedroom out of my mind. So we choose Wyatt. Now because I "picked" the first name, T thought he should get to pick the middle name. Fair enough. However, I didn't expect him to pick Dennis. I have never been a fan of Wyatt's middle name, BUT the meaning behind it is what really matters.

Dennis was T's favorite cousin. Back in 2005, Dennis died of a heart attack. He was only in his 40s. Dennis also had a sister who died from a diabetic coma when she was only in her 20s. So we thought by naming Wyatt Dennis, we could honor Dennis' memory and show tribute to his aunt and uncle who had lost so much.

Girl names I am addicted to. I love love love the name Cecelia. Unless things change dramatically before we have a baby girl, her name will be Cecelia. T loves the name Kairi (Ky-ree). Its cute, but not my style. So if we have a baby girl # 2, this will be here name. Other names I like are Kailen (Kay-lynn), Isabel (but sadly it has become much too popular for my taste), Charlotte (if we ever had twins I would kinda sorda need to name them Cecelia and Charlotte), Amelia, Olivia (again too popular), Penelope (Penny), oh the list goes ON!

Boy names I have expanded my list since Wyatt. I like the name Oliver, Wesley, Beau, Noah, Warner, Hudson, and Tristan.

So any future children will most likely be:

Wesley Travis --Travis is husband's name and my great grandpa's last name
Oliver Bruce --Bruce is my favorite uncle's name
Cecelia Violet --Violet is my grandmother's name
Kairi Anne --Anne is part of my middle name, T's mother's middle name, and a version of my greatgrandma's middle name (Anna).

We plan on having 2 more children. Whether we are able to have them naturally, with a little help, or through adoption we don't know. But we do know our family will not be complete without 2 more children.

AKA Out of Town. Which is what my husband will be on Sunday. Yes. Mother's day. URGH! He is going to Canada on Sunday. He had to go to China over Easter. I swear its like his work think ok, we have holiday coming up, we gotta send T somewhere!
I told him if he had to go somewhere on 4th of July, heads were gonna roll.

Also, we have been trying to get his work to commit to send T to KY during the 2nd week of June. This way they will give him mileage to go out there and we can not only tag along but make a quick trip to NC the week before and use the $ that his company gives him for mileage to pay for the trip. So with this Canada trip, I am hoping they will give in. Hope Hope Hope!! We have the money to go to NC without the KY trip, but we can always use that money toward's Wy's big boy room!!

Speaking of Big Boy room, I will be posting later all the stuff we plan on doing for his room soon!

Go here and let me know what you think. I plan on printing out the pictures in 5x7 and putting them in a 3 picture matted frame. I know Father's Day is still like 1 1/2 months away, but hey, at least I am not waiting until the last minute haha!

http://www.scrapblog.com/viewer/viewer.aspx?sbid=2623586

So, for Trav's father's day gift, I am gonna print out 3 (or 4) pictures that spell out D-A-D or D-A-D-A. Well, I need help picking the pictures I like best, so vote for your fave 2 D pictures and either 1 or 2 A pictures!


1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7. 8.

9.

So we just had our home sprayed for bugs. I HATE fire ants. They are the devil's minions in the yard! So we a company called Safe Home come out to spray for them, spiders, silver fish, wasps/muddobbers/evil flying stinging bugs, and any other things that may be in our yard or in our walls.

What is so great about this company? Well besides their 1 year guarantee of dead pests they are ORGANIC! Yup thats right Organic. Their sprays contain stuff from crysanthemums, prometherine related stuff, and I don't mind they sprayed the baseboards because its safe for Wy-guy to play around and for Casey to run through the yard. They will come back in about 30 days to kill any of the bugs that are currently in the larvae stage and that should take care of them for the summer! Woot Woot! You have no idea how excited I am to have dead ants! And if it rains really heavy and we end up with ant piles in our yard they will come back out and spray those ants for free!

For our house and yard the first spray was only $45. The second will be $85 and then 4 times a year it will be $85. So its a little pricy but honestly, with all the money I have thrown out on ant killer that hasn't worked, this is more than worth it! When we moved in this past October, we paid $95 for a treatment that didn't work and I didn't feel safe using and ended up washing all the baseboards two weeks later. Then we got Raid, and a ton of granules to toss down and we still had ants. So, for under $400 we can be ant free this year, and to me that is really truely worth every penny!

For those that don't know or remember, Wyatt got attacked by Fire ants in his crib when we lived in Sherman. He went to bed and was awoken by being attacked. So I have a ridiculous fear of fire ants! So I will gladly pay a million bucks to be fire ant free. Now, in a couple weeks I will re-evaluate, but as of right not I am very happy. Especially since its 100% guaranteed!

So there is this woman who makes amazing jewelry and the majority of the profit goes towards trying to stop human trafficking. There is another lady who has a set of girl twins who has a blog. Well that lady is giving away a piece of the amazing lady's jewelry. Pretty sweet right? I thought so. Soooooo, I am writing a post about this give away for a chance to win. When I was perusing the website I found this necklace. I am kind of in love with it! I really want to put Wyatt's name and birthday on it. Perfect Mother's Day present haha! The contest ends this week. So if you all want a chance to win, go here.

So, it isn't Friday like I said it would be when I posted my big reveal. Wanna know why it is now Sunday instead? Well, because about 8:30 pm my sister in law texted me and asked hey do ya'll want company tonight? (For those that don't know we live about 3 hours from them so its not like its just a pop over to say hi typeathing). Apparently they were heading down this way to visit her family and wanted to know if they could spend the night. They would be here about 11:30. So, I go hunt down the husband at the neighbors and drag him home to clean while I finish my project hastily.

So they get in and we talk and end up going ot bed around 2ish. Up at 8:30ish to start preparing for the cookout we were having with the neighbors (which Bro and Sis in law knew about grrr). About noon we go out ot lunch at Babes. Then they left with my cute chubby (weighs as much as Wyatt does and is a year younger) nephew. We went home and finished getting the house ready for the visitors that evening. We ended up having about 15 to 20 people here. Travis made the most amazing brisket I have ever had! I made my friend Corley's amazing spinich rolls, carved up a cataloupe and made it all fancy (balled it and everything), and set out a fruit tray. It was a big success! About 8:30 everyone headed home and we cleaned up and went to bed.

Which brings us to today. We got up and went to a new church. I think this may be the right church home for us. We will see after next Sundays sermon. Today's wasn't the best I have ever heard. (The pastor kept repeating the same part of the story over and over). So if he makes up for it next week we will keep going there. Wyatt did NOT like being left in the nursery. He started crying when I left him and cried when we went to get him. Makes me kind of sad because he used to LOVE going to the nursery at the church in Sherman. I guess this is what happens when he doesn't go to daycare or the church nursery in months.

Well, without further ado. The reason you are probably here in the first place...


Before:


Ugly Brass colored metal and some funky technicolor beige seats.After:
I reupholstered the seats in pink and green ticking stripe fabric
And painted the fugly brass a pretty oil rubbed bronze and I painted the backs white.

I tried spray painting the backs, but it kept chipping off, so I just took some acrylic paint and tossed it on top of the spray paint.

I also made new curtains. Its a toile design in rose that matches the pink on the chairs. Eventually I want to put some green sheers behind the curtains.

Fabric costs (chairs only): $10

Spray paint: $11

Staples: $2. 67

Total cost of kitchen table makeover: $23.67

What do you think?

Well, we finally got out to the bluebonnet field with letters in hand. Problem? Apparently someone hates the letter D. Let me show you...

Even a stick is way more awesome than the letter D...
(I think this is proof he detests his middle initial...)

The letter A however is apparently Amazing.....

And just because...

Nature pic!

Friday I hope to be able to share with you my super duper awesome kitchen table makeover...It will be posted sometime this weekend for sure!

Today Wyatt and I are going on a secret mission. Father's day is still months away. But the bluebonnets are just days away from being gone. SOOOOOOO we are going to run to walmart pick up some wooden D-A-D letters, grab my camera, a man's dress shirt and tie, and go to the bluebonnet field.
So if its a secret WHY am I posting about it online for all to see? Because the person it is secret from doesn't look here bwahahahaha! Pictures will be posted later. In a super secret fashion ya know? Check back later for uber cuteness!

Edit:
UGH our walmart craft section SUCKS! So I went down to Michaels to get the letters and they were out of A. So I had to get the kind you have to paint and now am waiting for those to dry. Its supposed to rain in a few hours and i really want to get this done with a happy boy. Not a whiney I need a nap boy! Hurry and dry paint!

So the Texas state flower is the Bluebonnet. And apparently every child in Texas gets their pictures in them each year. Its like a rite of passage or something. Not wanting our Oklahoma born child to feel left out, we headed out to Zion Cemetary Sunday to partake in said festivities. It is about 10 miles from our house so we loaded up and headed out. Here are the results:

Now onto the potty training part. We are not potty TRAINING per se. However, Wy likes to use his potty when he thinks about it. And the past two mornings he woke up for the most part, dry. Then proceeded to pee a small ocean into his big boy potty. He gets all excited because he it makes truck noises when he pees. He also has been pulling at his diaper when he goes. However he could care less running around in his poo all day. Honey, did you poo? ::giggles and runs off:: I would think it would be rather unpleasant to be running around with a terd stuck to your butt. Apparently not. I am hoping in the next month or so we may start trying to train, if he is interested. It would be super nice not to have to buy diapers any more...or hold a wiggling child with a death grip to keep him from escaping while I wipe his tush.

I swear, with all these sick or doctor posts you would think we should live in a bubble!! I had to go to my OBGYN today for a sonogram on my ovaries because I believe there is a cyst on one or both. Ugh! So since T is in China for another week, Wyatt got to go to Playcare. He did NOT want to let go of me. He is teething and is extra clingy right now. Usually I don't mind, cause it means extra snuggles for me (score!). But I pretty much had to dig his fingers out of my shirt to give him to the girl. And he scream. And he cried. And he saw some trains. And he was good to go.
So I head over to the doctors office, making it there about 5 minutes early (appt was at 11) after stopping at 7/11 to get a 24 oz bottle of water to down on my way. I got checked in, sat down and waited. And waited. And texted Brooke. And waited some more. By this time that 24 oz of H2O had made it through me and I felt like I was about to bust! After texting some more, playing online (yay for internet on phones!) I was finally called back, AT 11:56! I was sooooooo MAD! Anywho, I go in the room, and the tech tells me I can empty all that water out. THANK GOODNESS! I was about to pee on the floor I kid you not. (Oh and let me tell you, that sonogram is NOT like you see in the movies. No siree. Its a giant wand. And the best view is NOT from the top of your stomach). So I am laying there all awkward and vulnerable with the tech pushing that wand into my already tender and sore ovaries. Making me cringe in pain. Oh crud she says. WHAT? What is the crud for?! Oh uh I forgot to turn on the measurements. WTF?!! Your the damn tech, that ovary has already been tortured enough and now you have to do it again because you suck at life?! SUCK! Well, when she was finished I was allowed to wrap the giant paper sheet back around my butt and scuttle back into the bathroom to get dressed and go pay my $20.
Well, I had not heard about my bloodwork from my appt 2 weeks previous, so I ask about it. The receptionist was like well, our policy is no news is good news. I stare at her. So she adds, "well I will go double check just in case." In my polite voice, Oh thank you. As I continue to stare her down. A couple minutes later, umm Kendra, could you step into this room please? Like I am gonna say no. Psh. So the nurse tells me I have low thyroid and need to see an endocrinologist. No biggie. I figured what with the never ending sleepiness, lack of weight loss, and the hair laying all over the house that could make 4 wigs, I knew it was coming. Then the nurse says did we do a urine culture on you? Ummm yes, yes you did. In fact I went back after I paid LAST time to see what the dipstick had said (dipstick as in the actual stick you dip, not the idiot nurse who forgot to dip it before I went back), and it showed nothing, but was going to be sent off just in case. Well I also have a UTI. See that Doctor You Should Drink More Water? I DO have a UTI told ya so. Great. Jerk. Wish you had been right. So the nurse darts out of the room yelling TRACEY (who is the PA), and gets a Rx for the UTI. So I leave the doctor with sharp stabbing ovary pain, not knowing the reason as to why the pain is there, a Rx for some UTI meds, and a # for an endocrinologist. JOY.
Then while I am driving to get a quick lunch, the pediatrician calls. Hey can we change your son's 18 month appt? Sure why not, no big deal. Just 1 day. Then I grab some lunch, and head back to playcare. Wyatt is playing by the window and sees me as I walk up. He again starts screaming. As I wait for them to check out this other mom, Wyatt is wailing because I was there but am once again gone from sight. Such a horrible mommy, abandoning my child. But alas, he is returned to me and we go home and he naps and I call the endocrinologist. After losing connection 3 times, I finally make my appointment and am done with doctors for the day...after I call the OBGYN and have them fax the lab results. Ok NOW I am done with doctors for the day. YAY!
I should hear about the ovary thing within a week. Grrr! I have waited long enough! Just let me know already! GAH!
However, to lighten my day up, Wyatt decided to make me laugh tonight after putting him to bed. He woke up, and as I am waiting to see if he will go back to sleep, he apparently decides to undo the diaper, but leave the shorts on. So when I go to pick him up, his shorts are wet. Such a sweetheart. Thinking of ways to make mommy laugh when she has had a hard day. I am sure that was his intention the whole time, not to play with his winkie. Oy the joys of boys.

So since my meltdown a month or so ago, T went into talk to his urologist about his lack of sperm. His uro ordered bloodwork and another S/A. We found out T's FSH level (the stuff that makes the sperm in the body) was .5 and normal is 1-18. They also checked his LH level (Luteinizing Hormone, help produce testosterone) was .3, normal is 2-18. Since being on the male hormone replacements, his testosterone levels were actually normal for once, however those hormones may also be what is effing with the FSH and LH levels. The second S/A showed the same results at the first, nothing. So the plan is for T to go off the hormones until June/July and see if that fixes his count, or at least helps boost it some.

If it does fix it, then we know we can try on our own whenever it is we decide to try. If it doesn't fix it, we save for treatments. Probably looking at the start of next year. In June we will also see how much the new insurance will cover for IF treatments if any. So we are basically banking on June. I just wish it would hurry up and get here!!!

http://gnluv.wordpress.com/2010/03/16/a-ttc-journey/ (Go watch this video)

In other news, we took the front rail off of Wy's crib yesterday. It is going alright so far. He hasn't fallen out, and seems to be doing well. I, however, almost cried because I know my little baby is a little boy. I love this stage and that he can do all these wonderful things now like play patty cake, and pretend to stir his food, or go down the slide by himself. But I miss my little bump on the floor that just cooed and drooled. Never thought I would say I missed my drooly boy.

Vintage Wyatt, 2 weeks old

Wyatt now (Corley do the playdoh toys look familiar :))

My grandma and sister came down this past week while the hubby was out of town for work. Before T left for his trip we had gone to the Collin County Home and Garden Show (pretty much a waste of $, not much there), but we did learn that there was a Habitat for Humanity Re-Store in our town. So my grandma wanted to go there and see if they had a crystal chandelier by chance. They didn't, but they had the PERFECT chandelier to go over our stair case. You see right now there is a dumpy builders grade light fixture above the stairs that is impossible to reach without the power of levitation or a $200 ladder, or a $$$ call to the electrician. This chandelier however, was a steal! It was only $55. And my grandma decided to chip in $20, bringing the price for us down to $35. After T got home, we went to Home Depot for a new cord because the one that is in it now is brittle. We also needed to get a longer chain for it. Well, we were talking to the HD guy, and he happened to have an oil rubbed bronze chain someone had given to HD because they didn't need it. And we got about 10' of new cord. The chain was FREE and the cord was $3! So my awesome chandlier's grand total is $38! Talk about a bargain!

I am getting ready to paint our two front rooms, and our half bath downstairs. It took about 2 weeks of samples, and about a million different samples to decide on the color for the front rooms. Brooke and Corley, you got the pictures lol. It is ridiculous! It is a blue/gray color. I took a behr gray (something storm) and added some Olympic blue and wala. Perfect. We haven't picked a color for the bath yet. I hadn't really planned on painting it, but I had some paint for the living room that I had shook up to do some touch up from the previous tenants and I thought the bathroom and living room were the same color. Umm nope. Apparently the bathroom is a much lighter shade. So now we have 2 very dark patches in the bathroom. Luckily it is a relatively small room so it won't take much to paint.
I would like to paint this weekend, but we are celebrating my husband's families birthdays. His two brothers, dad, and his brothers significant others all have March birthdays. Which is why I refuse to get pregnant in June. Granted, the month of June is pretty full too with my sisters and his mom, and October with mine, my grandma's my two nephews and my adorable son! Man, people should spread birthdays out more! They shold plan for future family members and make sure that birthdays are covered throughout the year not all at once! Its like having 2 Christmas'.

Anyway, back to housework. We dug out some of the ugly bushes out front. I will post pictures later when I have something pretty planted. I'll do before/during/after pics! Its gonna be great. I am gonna plant some Gardenia, Camellias, and Peonies. It will be GORGEOUS and smell so wonderful. I can hardly wait! The only obstacle now is which Camellias to get. Pink Icicle, Shishi Gashira, Tom Knudson, there are just sooo many. I am leaning towards the ShiShi. I know which Gardenias I am getting, the Frost Proof. Name says it all! Easy maintenance gardenias have my name written all over them. I never really had any desire in gardening before we got our own home. Now I can't stop thinking about it! We really want to put in a veggie garden out back, but it will have to wait til next year when we can get the ground ready. However we are hoping to get a blackberry and blueberry bush this year and maybe even some strawberries. And T has his mind set on some Tomatoes. I cannot wait! This year is going to be a good one.

Last month when they told us T couldn't make anymore babies, I was hoping that it was just a blocked tube or something. That it would unblock itself. Before they said 0. Before they said sorry. Before they mentioned IVF or IUI. Before they said infertility. Before all that the farthest thing from my mind was having another one. I was focused on becoming a teacher. I was focused on getting a job. I was focused on becoming more independent. I was focused on paying off debt. I was focused on my son and watching him grow. Would another baby have been nice? Sure but I was not ready. Before...

Now all I can think about is what if. What if we can't have another. What if those 3 samples frozen in the bank don't work. What if when insurance switches in June Infertility won't be covered anymore. What if we just can't have another. All I want now is to have another. I don't care about getting a job as much. I don't care about getting out of debt as much. In fact I want more debt. I want DR bills and pre natal visits and hospital and lab fees and all that.

Its like when someone tells you that you can't have that cookie. You didn't really want a cookie before. Had you had a cookie before it would have been nice. But either way it didn't really matter. But now that someone has told you no cookie for you all you want is that stupid cookie. Even if it is oatmeal raising and you hate raisins, you still want it because you were told you couldn't have it.

Now all I can think about is will we have another child? Yeah we can adopt if all else fails, but I am scared to death of adoption. My mother and uncle were adopted. My grandparents didn't know when they adopted them that they would have learning disabilities or emotional problems and all sorts of other issues. If we adopt what will those children be like? I know that even with conceiving biological children that those issues could be present. But there is just something about knowing what nutrients were passed on through that little umbilical cord. What vitamins were taken, what drugs and alcohol were avoided at all costs.

Yesterday my monthly reminder showed up telling me hey, your not pregnant. I think that is when it really hit home. When it all really became a reality to me. This past month we didn't use any sort of protection. I know my body and I know when my fertile window was. I know that if we could have gotten pregnant than it would have happened.

I know people try for months and years to have one child which we already have. And I know I am more than blessed to have a happy healthy child. But I don't think I could ever be satisfied with just one. I always envisioned my family with 3 little children running around the back yard. Playing with the dog, yelling he hit me, and the other one yelling did not! In my mind that was perfect.

I feel a little selfish because some would be more than happy with just one. If only they could have that ONE. And if it never happens I guess I would get used to just having one. But in my heart, deep down, I would always long for another.

I feel guilty for feeling the way I feel. About needing more and not knowing what will happen. I always felt sad for those who couldn't have babies. I know that are chances are good of conceiving another even if it is in a doctors office instead of the bedroom (or kitchen or office or hell the stairs even). But those damn what ifs in the back of my mind are haunting me. Until those two lines show up we won't know. And until we can afford those treatments, and until our insurance switches over, until then, those what ifs will linger. There isn't anything we can really do. Just wait and see.

I just needed to get all this out. Just needed to express myself where it most likely won't be read by the one person I can't vent to from fear of upsetting him. Making him sad and feel guilty. I don't mean to. I don't blame him at all for this situation we are in. Its not like he wanted this or could have prevented this. Testicular cancer isn't preventable. It just happens. We were lucky he caught it early before it spread and for that I am truely truely thankful. I am so glad I still have him. Every day and every second I am thankful for him. I love him more than words can say. But I also know the feelings I am feeling right now he feels too. And all it would do is make him sad. So instead I am writing them here. Where he probably won't read, and where it won't make him sad...

Momma!! Look!!! Lets go outside!!

Our front yard...walkin in a winter wonderland!

Blizzard Dog!
Mom, its cold out here!
My snow, go away!
Look I made a hole!

We had a blast playing in the snow! T came home from work early and we made a snowman too.

Girly Romper with handmade ruffles! (Still need to sew on buttons, but my button thing on my sewing machine has a love hate relationship with buttons. It loves to pop them in two.)
Handmade ruffle close up!
Cupcake applique...I am rethinking the Sweet though. Kind of looks like a 5 year old wrote it...

The hat has a sun bonnet feel to me.

Strawberry Hat!
Ribbet...Ribbet...
Lady bug!

So, this past week some guy from Home Depot came out to give us a spiel about a water softener system. Blah Blah Blah...I was not really sold, Trav was though. Until he saw the price for this awesome system. $6995. It is so nice though that it isn't an even $7k. Well, for our time our compensation was for a free 3 day and 2 night stay at a hotel in a list of different places. Sooo, this post is about a list. A list of wonderful vacations you get to help pick out! We have to choose our top 3 places we want to go. We narrowed it down to 11. In no particular order

1. Aruba
2. Outer Banks, NC
3. Puerto Vallarta
4. Ft. Lauderdale
5. Calgary, CAN
6. San Luis Obispo, CA
7. San Carlos, Sonora
8. Ozarks
9. Hilton Head, SC
10. Padre
11. Hershey, PA

Numbers 8, 11, and 10 are Travs picks. (Hershey would be fun and all (CORLEY) but for the same price for the airfare we could go to a beach in another country). And I have been to the Ozarks a million times when my Dad worked for Silver Dollar City, so that doesn't impress me much. But we could save on airfare, same with Padre.Numbers 1, 3, and 9 are my picks. Hello beaches haha! Airefare for all of these places are pretty much the same. I really wanted to go to Hawaii, but plane tickets are twice what they were for all the other places :( All the other numbers are places we would like to go that sounded fun. We picked them together, but are not really set either way for them.

This is what we are doing with our tax return this year. We are taking a relaxing trip just the two of us to take in everything from this past month. Granted, we are also paying off my behemoth car and taking a family trip to NC. Yay for first time home buyers credit! (Corley find a way to sneak down to NC in June ok!)

Today I am going to the doctor to have her look at my ear. Ya know, the one my son punctured with my glasses back in August? It has been killing me for the past two weeks and T got tired of me complaining (I can't even lay on my left side because of it). So he made me go to a real doctor (I just wanted to go to urgent care, but he insisted if I had to go to an ENT it would be better to start with a real doctor office yadda yadda yadda).
This weekend while watching the big game (WAY TO GO SAINTS) I spent a lot of it crocheting some new hats. If I have time later I will upload some pictures of the awesomeness!

This weekend was by far the worst I think we have ever had.

Travis went to his reproductive endocrinologist on Saturday to have a seman analysis done to check and see what the radiation and hormone replacement therapy has done to his sperm count. The lab tech told him that they couldn't tell him his results there and that they would send the results to his urologist. Well, after checking the sample, she came back and told him that they couldn't find anything in the sample. Not even 1. So they were going to centrifuge it (spin it around really fast) and get a concentrated sample to double check. 30 minutes later and 2 more opinions it was confirmed that T doesn't have any sperm. There is a slight possibility of a block and they were going to check for fructose just in case. However the reality is more likely.

T looked at a brochure while he was in there that had the prices of fertility treatments. Holy freaking cow! It will cost $900 for an IUI (interuterine insemination), $950 for IUI+medications, $4000 for IUI + injectibles, and $12,000 for IVF (InVitro Fertilization). So now we are saving saving saving and T is going to set up an appointment with his Uro to check things out. Not really sure what our next step will be or should be.

Well, that was Saturday. Sunday we got early to try out a new church. We will not be going back though!! It was much to relaxed for us. First of all, they put our walking, climbing, rough and tumble boy in a nursery room with babies newborn to BARELY walking. Even though right next door was a room full of running around toddlers. Why you ask? Because he was 15 months and the next room was for 18 months +. Even after I tried to tell them he walks around everywhere and climbs and is too big for the rest of the babies in the first room (next oldest child was barely crawling...) They assured us that if he was too big they would switch him. They didn't. UGH. Then during the service people kept getting up to go grab a cup of coffee and come sit back down. And all the little kids were playing on Iphones or being rambunkcious (SP??). It did not leave a good taste in our mouth. I guess we are just a little too traditional when it comes to churches.

Sunday evening I was not feeling good at all! My stomach was really queasy and I just felt all around BLAH! So we put Wyatt down and I went to bed too. By 10, I still couldn't sleep so T rand a bath for me. All of a sudden I didn't feel good and made him grab the pitcher we use to rinse the tub out. Filled that about halfway up. It wasn't pretty. I got out took a shower and went to bed. I ate 1 cracker and 2 sips of water because I was soooo thirsty. Well that was a BAD idea! Around 11:30 that came back up. I finally fell asleep, but Wyatt is teething and he kept waking up all night. Every 2-3 hours. Finally Travis tossed some stuffed animals into the crib and Wyatt went right to sleep around 5.

Monday I had my job interview with Dallas Independent School District. The school is on the other side of town from us. But a job is a job right? South Dallas resembles North Tulsa a lot! The school is about 48% black, 48 % hispanic, and 4% other. Although I am not sure what the other is as I didn't see any of the 4%. I think the interview went really well. The assistant principal said she like my answers to the questions. They were interviewing 1 other girl after me. I really hope I get this job. If nothing else it will be a foot in the door. I know it won't be a long term job because during the interview, the Asst Principal mentioned needing to scale down on teachers as it is right now class sizes are 6-10 students:1 teacher and it should be 22:1. But if I can just get this first job, life will be much easier. And after getting the first job, the second is usally easier!

Well, semi-wordless Wednesday! This post is to catch you up on our life in the past few months through pictures!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qI4N-Lwslg

Wyatt learned to walk!

We moved!

The cute Teddy Bear thoroughly enjoyed Halloween!

And his Birthday!

He wasn't too big of a fan of getting his Haircut...

But he did enjoy getting to "drive" his Hummer!

Travis and I took a mini-vacay/work trip to Del Rio, TX/Acuna, MX

On the way home, we stopped in San Antonio and enjoyed the RiverWalk!

Then we had Thanksgiving and Christmas...

Guess who enjoyed opening presents? Haha!

Then Daddy went on a business trip to China and left Momma and Son home to play!

Now your updated!